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Paramount Just Got a $77 Billion Offer and Nobody Can Explain Why

Persona #3 · Vol: 10000
Paramount has a new suitor, and the timing could not be stranger. Skydance Media, the production company run by David Ellison, has reportedly made an all-stock offer valued at roughly $77 billion for Paramount Global — a company whose stock has spent the last two years behaving like a dropped soufflé. Let's be clear about what's happening here. Paramount owns CBS, MTV, Nickelodeon, Comedy Central, Showtime, and the Paramount film studio. That is a genuinely valuable pile of assets. It is also a pile of assets that has been slowly leaking revenue as cable subscribers cut the cord and streaming loses money at a rate that would make a casino blush. Paramount+ has been the money pit at the center of this story. The service has burned through billions trying to compete with Netflix and Disney+, and the results have been underwhelming. The company slashed its dividend earlier this year. Its CEO, Bob Bakish, was pushed out in April. The stock is down roughly 25 percent over the past twelve months, even after a recent bounce tied to takeover chatter. So why would anyone offer $77 billion for a business that is, by most conventional measures, struggling? The generous answer is that Ellison sees something the market doesn't: a turnaround story built on cost cuts, a stronger film slate, and a leaner streaming operation. Skydance has a decent track record, and Ellison has access to serious capital through his father, Oracle founder Larry Ellison. The less generous answer is that this is a vanity play dressed up as a business strategy. Hollywood has a long tradition of rich people buying studios because they love movies, not because the math works. And the math here is ugly. Linear television is dying. Streaming is a war of attrition that only the biggest players can win. Paramount is neither the biggest nor the most nimble. There's also the question of who benefits from the hype. Every time a Paramount deal surfaces in the press, the stock jumps. That's good news for shareholders who bought low and for bankers collecting fees on the rumor alone. It's less good for employees who have already endured multiple rounds of layoffs and will almost certainly endure more if a deal closes. And then there's the Redstone factor. Shari Redstone controls Paramount through National Amusements, and her willingness to sell has been the subtext of every deal story for years. A Skydance merger would give her an exit. That's not nothing. It's also not a reason for anyone else to celebrate. The real question is whether any of this creates value for the people who actually make the shows and the people who watch them. History suggests the answer is no. Media mergers almost always promise synergy and deliver layoffs. They promise creative freedom and deliver committee notes. They promise growth and deliver debt. Paramount might survive this era. It might even thrive. But the frenzy around this offer says more about the desperation of legacy media than it does about any genuine confidence in Paramount's future. My take: $77 billion for Paramount is not a vote of confidence in television. It's a bet that someone else will pay more later. That's not a strategy. That's a game of musical chairs, and the music always stops.
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